Written by My Japanese fiancée hasn’t spoken much with her father since he objected to our wedding, which was a few years ago, and she hasn’t said much to me about it either. The topic lingers between us, unspoken. And to be honest, I’ve noticed a deeper quietness in general since then.
A friend once told me that in Japan, it’s common for couples not to express everything out loud. Silence, he said, doesn’t necessarily mean something’s wrong, it can be a quiet way of showing care.
He’s been married for over 20 years, and for him, that’s always been the norm, a relationship that’s calm, low-conflict, and emotionally subtle. Unlike in many other cultures where open communication is expected and encouraged, Japanese culture often values harmony, restraint, and unspoken understanding.
I get that. Speaking up can feel risky, like opening the door to conflict and then even more conflict. And honestly, I often prefer peace and quiet over an argument. But I also believe there has to be a balance. Silence can be gentle, even comforting… but sometimes, love means having the courage to speak, especially when it matters most.
So I keep wondering, when someone goes quiet, is that love in its softest form? Or over time, can that silence quietly create distance?
This isn’t about blame or cultural assumptions. Every relationship has its own rhythm, its own language. But for me, I think I’d struggle if everything important was left unsaid. I’m not great at reading minds… and I guess, in the end, I just want to understand, and be understood.
Version 1
Version 2 (in Japanese)
Lyrics:
Lately, I’ve been stuck inside my head,
Tryin’ to read your mind from the things you never said.
I see it in your eyes, somethin’ weighin’ you down,
But you smile like it’s fine, like there’s nothin’ around.
I know you don’t wanna start no fight,
So you keep it all in, hold it deep, real tight.
But silence don’t fix what we don’t address,
And I can’t feel close when I’m left to guess.
You don’t wanna burden me, I get it, I swear,
But I can’t be there if I don’t know where.
Baby, just say it, don’t push it aside,
Cuz holdin’ it in only builds up the tide.
Should we stay quiet just to keep the peace?
Or should we speak up so our hearts don’t freeze?
I just wanna know what’s deep inside,
No more distance, no more pride.
I know you don’t wanna start no fight,
So you keep it all in, hold it deep, real tight.
But silence don’t fix what we don’t address,
And I can’t feel close when I’m left to guess.
You don’t wanna burden me, I get it, I swear,
But I can’t be there if I don’t know where.
Baby, just say it, don’t push it aside,
Cuz holdin’ it in only builds up the tide.
I don’t need the silence, I don’t need the space,
I just need to hear you, don’t make me chase.
If it’s love, then we should fight,
Not against, but for what’s right.
So tell me now, don’t let it wait,
Before the quiet turns to fate.
Cuz if we’re real, then we should speak,
Love ain’t strong when love is weak.
Love ain’t strong when love is weak,
Love ain’t strong when love is weak…